No one said Dating was easy, but if you follow these five rules and you’ll enjoy a richer date experience.
When it comes to your Dating love life, do you wish there was a rulebook? While The Rules are so last century, a new dating handbook has yet to be created in the new era.
So how do you know the dos and don’ts rules of Dating? The truth is there are no hard and fast rules, but the following guidelines should help you navigate the terrain known as your dating romance.
Rule #1: Listen to Your Heart. Whether you’re on a date, communicating with someone you meet online, or flirting with a cutie you meet in the flesh, it’s important to pay attention and listen carefully to your gut. If a potential date’s actions or words set off an internal alarm system, you owe it to yourself to pay attention and act accordingly. These alarms can be both good and sometimes bad. For example, if you’ve met someone online and they seem interesting, then you talk to them on the phone and they sound completely different (in a negative way), you may decide never to meet them in person. A positive example would be if you were on a date with someone and they seemed a little nervous but well intentioned, your gut might tell you to give them a second chance. By going on a second date, you’ll gain a better understanding of whom they really are and if you’d like to see them soon.
Rule #2: Pay Attention to little Red Flags. Like those internal alarms that alert you to your gut feelings, you do also have an alarm system to alert you to red flags. Sometimes this alarm system is turned way down. As a result, we often ignore red flags and find ourselves getting involved with inappropriate partners because we’re not paying enough attention. To become a truly successful single in the new millennium, you owe it to yourself to become a real red flag specialist. That means paying attention to those red flags as they are presented to you on dates. An example of a red flag would be if you found yourself on a date with someone who could not stop talking about their ex lover. They may be a fantastic person, and eventually make a great partner, but right now they’re not really ready. Your job is to pay attention to that red flag and not pursue this date.
Rule #3: Actions Speak Louder Than Most Words. During the course of your dating life you will most likely find yourself on a date with someone whose actions speak much clearer than his or her words. Maybe they’re attentive and chivalrous to you, but treat the waiter, bartender, and/or valet terribly. Or maybe they will claim they’re ready for a long-term relationship, but their wandering eye tells you otherwise. To get the best out of your dating life, it’s important to understand that actions speak louder than words. When someone’s actions are contrary to his or her words, this is not only a red flag alert, it’s gut-check time. By paying attention and screening out potential partners whose actions don’t match their words, you cut down on wasted dating and make it that so much easier to attract potential partners worth your time and energy.
Rule #4: Don’t Always Play Games. Successful singles know what goes around also comes around. They also know the importance of being honest and well intentioned with the people they are dating. As a successful single, you owe it to yourself and the individuals you date not to play dating games. Really call when you say you’re going to call. Do what you say you’re going to do, and be honest when the other person asks if you’d like to go out on a date again. If you don’t want to see them again, say so in a kind and considerate voice. By being honest and letting them down very easy, you avoid playing games. You should expect the same in return. If you don’t get it, don’t play games by taking that out on the next person you will date.
Rule #5: Know When to Really Say “Game Over”. Just as you should not play dating games, you will want to avoid getting played like a fiddle. Like it or not, there are plenty of bad players on the dating scene. It’s up to you to know the signs of the player, know their game, and be confident enough to say to them “game over.” Here’s how to spot a dating player: When they approach, they’ll take you completely off guard with a backhanded compliment/insult along the lines of “you’re too cute to be wearing that” or “I’d buy you a drink, but you probably wouldn’t talk to me.” These tactics are known as The Old Game. The player’s actual motive is to take you off guard so that you’re on the defensive and try to make up for it by engaging in their game. The problem is, these players aren’t actually genuine. Instead of falling for their lame tactics, simply smile, say “game over,” and walk (better yet, run!) away fast.
There are no hard and fast dating rules, but there are definitely guidelines to follow to make your dating life more enjoyable. By listening to your gut, paying attention to red flags, and understanding that actions speak louder than words, you cut down on your wasted dating time. In doing so, you not only avoid getting played, but you also greatly increase your chances of a relationship successful match.
